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Rules for Halloween

1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it is really dead.

2. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.

3. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language they should not know, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. However, it will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared. This also applies to kids who speak with somebody else's voice.

4. Don't search the basement, especially if the power has gone out.

5. When you have the benefit of numbers NEVER pair off and go alone.

6. Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. This would apply to any other house of the dead as well.

7. As a general rule don't solve puzzles that open portals to hell.

8. If you're searching for something which caused a loud noise and find out that it is just the cat, GET THE HELL OUT!

9. If appliances start operating by themselves, do not check for short circuits; just GET OUT!

10. Do not take anything from the dead.

11. If you find a town which looks deserted, there's probably a good reason for it. Don't stop and look around.

12. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology, unless your sure you know what you are doing.

13. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are female. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monter is merely shambling along, it is still moving fast enough to catch up with you.

14. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior, such as: hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness and so on, kill them immediately.

15. Stay away from certain geographicla locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (your in trouble if you recognize this one), anywhere in Texas where Chainsaws are sold, The Bermeda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.

16. If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go to the nearby deserted looking house to phone for help. If you think that it is strange that you had most of a tank of gas, shoot yourself instead. You are going to die anyway, and most likely be eaten.

17. Beware of strangers bearing tools. For example: chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any devices made from deceased companions.

18. If you find that your house is built upon a cemetery, now is the time to move in with your in-laws. This also applies to houses that had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or who performed satanic acts.

19. Dress appropriately. When investigating a noise downstairs in an old house, women should not wear a flimsy negligee. And carry a flashlight not a candle.

20. Do not mention the names of demons around open flames, as these can flare suddenly. Be especially careful of fireplaces in this regard.

21. Do not go looking for witches in the Maryland country side.



This information gathered by Regina



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